Courtship stage dating
No “Mom” and “me,” only the warm, dark oneness of the womb.Even before we were pushed, kicking and screaming down that dark tunnel toward the bright light, we still viewed the world outside the womb as a part of ourselves.During late childhood, we made one last-ditch effort to regain our sense of power. Perhaps Wonder Woman or Superman could reassure us that mere mortals could have super powers.But by the first day of junior high, most of us had come to the awful conclusion that human beings are pretty powerless and often very alone. Scott Peck, the author who has taken The Road Less Traveled, speaks of these feelings of separation and loneliness as “ego-barriers.” The barriers between babies and parents are mostly physical. ) Unfortunately, we are falling in love with our own romantic ideal—not necessarily with the real person. Gapaille claims this emotional state creates “honest dishonesty.” Remember when you couldn’t find one fault in your future spouse!We seem attracted to those similar to our parents or childhood care-givers.So, our mates may not be angry with us at all, but with unresolved issues with those very same parents or care-givers who didn’t meet their emotional needs.Child development experts believe “the terrible twos” syndrome is our reaction to the discovery that we are not the masters of the universe.
Instead, they move from one relationship to another, to another, to another.
The first day of day care or kindergarten brought another assault on the oneness of early childhood. There is nothing the two of us—Superman and Wonder Woman—can’t do as long as we have each other. When this occurs, the couple can either choose to find someone else to “feel” in love with or can go on from baby love to a deeper, more mature love.